NASA has decided to give up on space shuttles, space stations, and “boldly going where no one has gone before”. No siree Bob—NASA has far more important things to do.
Apparently science demands that we watch clouds. You know, like you did when you were a kid. Lying on your back, looking up at the sky, and imagining all sorts of wonderfulthings floating above you. Oh, sorry; that’s the BC bud news.
Never mind. In the words of Dr Albert Van Hincklegrueber, “clouds are where it’s at, man. Just because it looks like a bunny rabbit from the ground, doesn’t mean it couldn’t be an incoming SCUD missle from the top.”
Funding for this project is being provided by the Department of Homeland Security, which has received high–level alerts that Al-Qaeda is busy acquiring anti–gravity technology to allow their operatives to float above clouds and drop things on people.
Your correspondant has, in fact, received a top–secret photograph of a cleverly–disguised terrorist prepared to do exactly that.
President Bush applauds this latest effort on the part of the federal government to defeat international terrorism. “We know that Al-Qaeda is extremely interested in gravitational research, and we have incontrovertible proof that they are attempting to turn this research into weapons of mass destruction.”
In an attempt to foil domestic would–be terrorists who might also take an interest, the federal Department of Education is instructing all state boards of education to teach that gravity is “only a theory, and other explanations are equally likely.”
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